I'm not the pheasant plucker, I'm the pheasant plucker's mate, And I'm only plucking pheasants 'cause the pheasant plucker's late. I'm not the pheasant plucker, I'm the pheasant plucker's son, And I'm only plucking pheasants till the pheasant pluckers come.
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A tutor who tooted the flute Tried to tutor two tooters to toot Said the two to the tutor "Is it tougher to toot Or to tutor two tooters to toot?"
Continue reading A Tutor Who Tooted
Silly Sally swiftly shooed seven silly sheep. The seven silly sheep Silly Sally shooed Shilly-shallied south. These sheep shouldn't sleep in a shack; Sheep should sleep in a shed.
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Three sweet switched Swiss witches Watch three washed Swiss witch Swatch watch switches. Which sweet switched Swiss witch watches Which washed Swiss witch Swatch watch switch?
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Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, The succesful thistle-sifter, While sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, Thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb.
Continue reading Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown
Now, if Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, The successful thistle-sifter, Thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, See that thou, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, Thrust not three thousand thistles through the thick of thy thumb.
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Amidst the mists and coldest frosts, With stoutest wrists and loudest boasts, He thrusts his fist against the posts And still insists he sees the ghosts.
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A bitter biting bittern Bit a better brother bittern, And the bitter better bittern Bit the bitter biter back. And the bitter bittern, bitten, By the better bitten bittern, Said: "I'm a bitter biter bit, alack!"
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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck If a woodchuck could chuck wood? He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, And chuck as much wood as a woodchuck would If a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Continue reading How Much Wood?
I cannot bear to see a bear Bear down upon a hare. When bare of hair he strips the hare, Right there I cry, "Forbear!"
Continue reading I Cannot Bear
If a Hottentot taught a Hottentot tot To talk ere the tot could totter, Ought the Hottenton tot Be taught to say aught, or naught, Or what ought to be taught her? If to hoot and to toot a Hottentot tot Be taught by her Hottentot tutor, Ought the tutor get hot If the Hottentot tot Hoot and toot at her Hottentot tutor?
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If one doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does he doctor the doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?
Continue reading One Doctor Doctors Another Doctor
I need not your needles, they're needless to me; For kneading of noodles, 'twere needless, you see; But did my neat knickers but need to be kneed, I then should have need of your needles indeed.
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I thought a thought But the thought I thought Was not the thought I thought I thought.
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Mr. See owned a saw. And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore. Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw. But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw!
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My dame hath a lame tame crane, My dame hath a crane that is lame.
Continue reading A Lame Tame Crane
Of all the felt I ever felt, I never felt a piece of felt Which felt as fine as that felt felt, When first I felt that felt hat's felt.
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Once upon a barren moor There dwelt a bear, also a boar. The bear could not bear the boar. The boar thought the bear a bore. At last the bear could bear no more Of that boar that bored him on the moor, And so one morn he bored the boar - That boar will bore the bear no more.
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One-One was a racehorse; Two-Two was one, too. When One-One won one race, Two-Two won one, too. On mules we find two legs behind And two we find before. We stand behind before we find What those behind be for.
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Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
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Pretty Kitty Creighton had a cotton batten cat. The cotton batten cat was bitten by a rat. The kitten that was bitten had a button for an eye, And biting off the button made the cotton batten fly.
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Say this sharply, say this sweetly; Say this shortly, say this softly; Say this sixteen times in succession.
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She sells seashells on the seashore. The shells she sells are seashells, I'm sure.
Continue reading She Sells Seashells
"Surely Sylvia swims!" shrieked Sammy, surprised. "Someone should show Sylvia some strokes so she shall not sink."
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Susan shineth shoes and socks; Socks and shoes shines Susan. She ceases shining shoes and socks, For shoes and socks shock Susan.
Continue reading Susan Shineth
Swan swam over the sea. Swim, swan, swim! Swan swam back again. Well swum, swan!
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Three gray geese in the green grass grazing. Gray were the geese and green was the grass.
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A tree toad loved a she-toad Who lived up in a tree. He was a two-toed tree toad But a three-toed toad was she. The two-toed tree toad tried to win The three-toed she-toad's heart, For the two-toed tree toad loved the ground That the three-toed tree toad trod. But the two-toed tree toad tried in vain. He couldn't please her whim. From her tree toad bower With her three-toed power The she-toad vetoed him.
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When a twister a-twisting will twist him a twist, For the twisting a twist, he three twines will entwist; But if one of the twines of the twist do untwist, The twine that untwisteth untwisteth the twist.
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You've no need to light a night-light On a light night like tonight, For a night-light's light's a slight light, And tonight's a night that's light. When a night's light, like tonight's light, It is really not quite right To light night-lights with their slight lights On a light night like tonight.
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Betty Botter bought some butter, "But," she said, "the butter's bitter; If I put it in my batter, It will make my batter bitter; But a bit of better butter, That would make my batter better." So she bought a bit of butter, Better than her bitter butter, And she put it in her batter, And the batter was not bitter; So 'twas better Betty Botter Bought a bit of better butter.
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Ned Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not. So it is better to be Shott than Nott. Some say Nott was not shot. But Shott says he shot Nott. Either the shot Shott shot at Nott was not shot, Or Nott was shot. If the shot Shott shot shot Nott, Nott was shot. But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott, Then Shott was shot, not Nott. However, the shot Shott shot shot not Shott, but Nott.
Continue reading Ned Nott And Sam Shott
